Sooo… Here’s a different post. It was meant to be read only by me, or not even that really, but I thought it would be nice sharing it as it’s all part of the deal.
It is some thoughts on the past months of travelling, something that many of you may as well find pointless and stupid – and maybe you wouldn’t even be so wrong! At the end of the day, I’ve never regarded myself as a writer, so my expectations are very low. And so should yours when reading it. 🙂 (Still, I do hope you enjoy it.)
Here I am, sitting on a bench at the seaside in Croatia, two days before the end of my journey, forcing myself to put down some thoughts on it all. (Croatia – how the f* did I end up here?! Wasn’t I travelling in South East Asia??)
This is when pen and paper would come handy, the iPad is too aloof for these type of things. But I guess it’ll do.
Not really sure what to write…
Of course, it seems yesterday the day I was leaving, the desperation of saying goodbye to my boyfriend thinking I wouldn’t have seen him for months. The exhilariation of the departure and what was ahead. The chaos of India that welcomed me for the third time. But this time it was different: it was all on me, alone between billions of people, without my luggage, but instead with a phone not working and an iPod filled with awful songs my boyfriend very kindly put in it.
Actually, thinking back, it is all a blur. Time passed all so fast that now it is probably too quick to put it all together in a thought, something that can summarize it all.
The sea. I looked at it from so many angles in the past months and yet it always looks the same.
No, it’s not true.
Sometimes it had land far away to gaze at, sometimes the horizon seemed it would never end. Sometimes I had a desert behind, other times a whole metropoly. At times an angry ocean, at times a peaceful gulf. Sometimes even, it was full of random weird-looking rocks in it, so surreal but oh-so-beautiful.
Sometimes I looked at it alone, others with newly met precious friends, and most of the times with the love of my life next to me. At times I looked at it sad, others demanding answers, others full of joy, often just frightened of the jellyfishes (yes, they were big).
Now I look at it alone again, finally my thoughts can run free, and yet, nothing comes. Just goosebumps and a fast hartbeat. How can anyone ever put down in words such experiences? I’m definitely not one of them.
Have I changed? I highly doubt that. But then again, now I feel I could take on the world alone. Yes, probably the only difference is that I grew strong. Stronger than what I would ever have imagined.
And clever too, why not! Academically intelligent I mean, for whatever it means. It’s like I went to an intensive school of life, where I learnt history, languages, geography, sociology, photography, economy, cooking and yes – manners. I learnt how to feel alive and how to face the surprises that sometimes life throws at you. Basically, all those things that actually going to school can never teach you. That leading a monotonus life can never teach you.
I am tired of always moving, but I feel like I could never stop. This is who I am and it will never change.
I’m happy to be going home, however. To see some friends, drink good wine, walk my dog. But I know that eventually I will leave again, even though not in such a way perhaps, but I’ll go, because I will never stop exploring what is out there.
I always joke about the fact that if I ever had a daughter, I would never let her doing what I did. But I guess I’m just lying to myself, as after all, such life experiences are the best choices one can ever take.
Never take for granted who you are until you’ve challeged it to the outmost.
Do something you’ve never done before.
Save your money for something that is really worth it.
Remember that life is the most precious thing you’ll ever own – and you only get one chance at it.